The Student Ministry Fraternity

Recently I sat in a meeting with other ministers from around the state as we evaluated an event that had occurred the previous month.  As we sat and evaluated the event, a very profound observation was made by an individual who has been serving in student ministry for many years.  He noted that during the event you could tell who came with a group and who came by themselves.  The individual who came with a group had buddies to hang out with during the event.  During breaks, they would all leave together and go eat.  When it came time to attend a session, they would all go together and enjoy it as a group.  This was not so for individuals who came by themselves.  These people stand against the wall looking for opportunities to join a group.  When it comes time to go and eat, they oftentimes go by themselves.  During a session, they are the ones who sit in the chair with no one else around them.  In other words, they are surrounded by people who are in the same profession, who deal with the same daily struggles, yet they are on an island by themselves in a sea of people.

As I've sat and thought about these words of wisdom it dawned on me that student ministry is like a fraternity.  Once you're in the group, it's great!  However, it can be a daunting task to get into.  I remember when I first started off in ministry.  I would go to youth ministry meetings and events and sit awkwardly at tables while it seemed like everyone else had a buddy but me.  And while attempts were made on my part to try and include myself into a group, it never quite worked out for the longest time.  Once I was included into the group, things were great, but I remember making a vow to myself that I would never become "that guy" who ignored the new people because I was too busy hanging out with my "own" group.

The words spoken by this seasoned veteran in ministry suddenly became a harsh reminder that I had become the one thing that I vowed not to.  I have been in ministry for a while now and have been inducted into the "fraternity" and have my own group that I hang out with.  However, I have sequestered off new faces and am not trying to solve the problem, but I have helped hinder it.  Please hear my heart when you read this.  This post is not an indictment against student ministers.  However, it is a plea for everyone of us to look for new faces and welcome them into the fraternity that is student ministry.  We've all been there before when we we're the "new guy" on the block.  Instead of unintentionally closing the doors, let us swing them wide open and welcome everyone in.

Overreaction is Never Good

Why is that people have the tendency to overreact to things?  Everyone has been around that person who takes unexpected hiccups and immediately begins to spin it to being the worst thing in the world.  In fact, from the moment something "bad" happens, this person becomes the negative Nancy in the room.  Nothing positive is heard out of their mouth from that point forward.  Perhaps you are that person.  Perhaps you have a tendency to overreact when something doesn't go quiet right.  I saw this played out Saturday night as the news broke that the OKC Thunder had traded James Harden to Houston.  As I read the articles, listened to the sports broadcasts, and perused people's comments, one word summed up the whole ordeal... OVERREACTION.  You would have thought that the Thunder had become the worst team in the league overnight.  It was actually very comical to read.  In the blink of an eye, people were transformed from level headed, clear thinking individuals, to crazy lunatics overreacting to something that they did not see coming.

As crazy as that sounds, I'm curious how many leaders do this.  Take a moment and think about it.  You take the time to carefully plan something.  You have every last detail down.  The people who are following you are 100% on-board with what is happening and you feel really good about everything.  Then, something goes awry.  For whatever reason, something unexpected happens and all of a sudden you're off script.  You are taken off-guard and you have to respond accordingly.  I wonder what your response would be?  Do you panic?  Do you think through things calmly and come to a solution?  Do you run around franticly like a chicken with its head cut off?  Do you lead out in such a way that your people know that everything is going to be okay?  How do you respond?

Overreaction never does any good.  In the end, it will only give you a headache, and will convey to the people who are following you that you do not have it all together.  If you have not figured it out yet, allow me to let you in on a little secret... nothing ever goes as planned!  Hiccups will happen along the way, and that's okay.  You will be surprised at times and taken off-guard, but how you respond is critical.  If you are a leader that overreacts, you need to stop.  Take a few breaths, examine the situation, and move forward accordingly.  If you don't, you're just like a crazy fan who one day has his team winning the championship, and the next, not even making the playoffs.  Don't be a leader who overreacts.

Encourage Regularly

To be affirmed by others is imporant to everyone.  Whether they admit it or not, people need a pat on the back from time to time to help encourage them to keep moving forward.  When those moments do not come, individuals become discouraged and less driven.  No one likes to work on something that goes unnoticed.  Though we may not be actively seeking affirmation, it's always nice when it comes.

I'm wondering how often you take the opportunity to encourage others.  Look around you, it's a very discouraging world that we live in, and this is the exact reason you need to be in the business of affirmation and encouragement.  Randomly walk by a co-workers office and tell them good job.  Take someone out to lunch and pay for their meal.  Send an encouraging FaceBook message to someone.  There are so many different avenues to encourage people in today's world that we should not have an excuse as to why we do not do it.  The craziest thing will happen when encouraging people becomes a priority for you... productivity will go up, attitudes will be more positive, and an encouraging atmosphere will be fostered. 

A couple of weeks ago, this was played out in a church staff meeting.  Our children's minister who has served on staff for over fiftheen years told everyone that a former pastor that she served alongisde of acted more like Jesus than anyone she's every met.  That is a huge compliment!  That is something that needs to be shared.  Later that week I was on FaceBook and noticed our Lead Pastor had posted on the formers pastors wall this encouraging word, and it really got me thinking.  He did not have to post that, but yet he did.  Why would he do such a thing?  Because people need to be encouraged and what better compliment to encourage someone with than that comment.

How much do you encourage people?  Is it something that you do on a regular basis or just when ever it's convenient for you?  Let me encourage you to be the best encourager that you can be.  Build an enviroment where affirmation and encouragement isn't unnatural, but the norm.

An Unwelcoming Church

Last week while visiting family in Oklahoma City I came across a church marquee that read, "Visitors are Welcome." As I drove by that church shaking my head it dawned on me that this church was probably a very unfriendly church trying too hard to come across as friendly. I mean, if you have to advertise to the outside world that visitors are welcomed in a church, you've missed the mark at some point in time.  Should it not already be known that churches are welcoming of visitors? I pondered these thoughts as I continued driving and it suddenly dawned on me that the church that had that saying on their marquee was probably like a lot of churches located in the midst of the bible belt. We know that we should be accepting of "outsiders" and shoud be in the business of inviting people to church, but when it comes right down to it, we kind of like things the way they are. If new people started coming into the church that may mean our comfort levels might be lowered a little bit. We might have to give up the pew that our family sits in week-in and week-out. In fact, now that we think about it, we're probably better off the way that we currently are. However, we can't let others know that we feel this way, so lets continue to talk about inviting people to church. Lets even throw an "outreach" event and see who shows up. Heck, lets just post on the marquee that visitors are welcome, but lets secretly hope things stay the same.

Now I know that this might seem a little extreme and even critical, but I'm curious how many secretly think this way? What camp are you sitting in today? What type of mentality does your church have? It's one thing to appear friendly and inviting, it's a whole different ball game to actually be that way. Don't be a church that has to advertise that visitors are welcome, be a church that has a reputation for welcoming new people to the fellowship.

Perfection Doesn't Always Happen

On my drive to work this morning, I was listening to sports radio.  There was a special guest on the program this morning who was a former NFL lineman.  During the course of the conversation between the radio host and the guest, something was said that really made me think.  The topic was great teams vs. bad teams and great coaching vs. bad coaching.  The former player told the radio host that the difference between a good and bad team was how they handled mistakes.  Great teams know that during the course of a game mistakes will happen and they know that they will have to overcome them.  Bad teams wait for the mistakes to happen and then crumble from there.  The same goes for coaching.  Great coaches do not pout when mistakes happen or hang their head for their team to see.  Instead, they coach their players through the mistake and work towards finishing the game strong.  On the flip-side, bad coaches tell their players that in order to beat the oppossing team they have to play a "perfect" game.  The problem with this pep talk is that perfect games rarely happen.  There will be mistakes made on the field, and once that first mistake is made the head coach sulks and does not coach with all of his heart anymore because he feels demoralized and defeated already.

After listening to this comparison on the radio, it really made me think about leadership as a whole.  Great leaders do not sit around and pout because something did not go right.  They continue to lead in such a way that the mistake can be overcome.  However, I've noticed that a lot of leaders do the exact opposite.  When a bump comes along in the road they sit around and stop coaching because they feel defeated.  The problem with this approach is that people are still looking to you for leadership no matter what has happened.  They need to know, "where do we go from here?"  If we are busy sitting around pouting, people will become discouraged and momentum will be lost.  However, if a leader can maintain their composure and continue to push forward, people will follow.  I want to encourage everyone to not get down when that "perfect" game doesn't happen.  Overcome mistakes, and lead your people to victory, not defeat. Be a great leader, and not a bad one.

Empowering Others

During my many years in ministry, I have received a lot of advice on how to be a better leader.  Some advice has been good, some not so much.  However, one of the best pieces of advice that I ever received was told to me early in ministry by a veteran minister.  He told me that the best leaders empower their people to lead.  I asked him exactly what he meant by that and he told me that many times leaders are insecure and feel the pressure to receive credit for every little thing that happens in the organization that they are in charge of.  However, if a leader can get past his/her insecurities and empower others to lead the organization will be healthier than ever before and will flourish beyond anything the leader could imagine.

Take Jesus for example.  He strategically picks a team of 12 individuals whom He invests in for over 3 years.  During that time of investment, He teaches them truths central to the mission that has been set before them and empowers them to lead out in various situations.  When the time comes for Jesus to ascend to the Father, He looks at his disciples and tells them to go get the job done and then He ascends.  What a great leadership model.  Help encourage people to be leaders and walk them through what that looks like, and then someday when God moves you to another area of ministry, the ministry continues to function and grow because of the leadership that is left once the main leader has moved on.
I mean, that should be the goal for every minister, right?  Work in such a way that ministry is totally not about you and when the day comes for you to move on, the ministry continues.  I tell my students and adults all the time that my prayer is that if I were to ever leave the ministry suddenly one day, the only difference that people would see is that the guy who speaks on Wednesday night would be different.  Now, I know there would be other differences, but you get what I'm trying to say.

Ever since that day I have tried to incorporate that bit of knowledge into everyday ministry.  How can I help empower people to be leaders?  I would encourage you to ask yourself that exact same question.  A couple of pointers if you are serious about doing this:

1. You won't be in the know about every single thing going on, but that's okay.
2. Things won't always be done the exact way that you would have done it, but that's okay.
3. Bad decisions will be made, and you will have to deal with it, but that's okay.
4. You will need to become the biggest cheerleaders for those people that you are empowering to lead, but that's okay.

So what are you waiting for?  Go out and empower people to lead!

Standing for Truth

I am constantly amazed at the amount of criticism a church receives when standing for truth.  It does not matter what the church says or does, once a stand has been made that church is automatically labeled as "judgmental."  Why is that?  I mean, if any other organization in the world were to take the exact same stand as the church did, people would line up behind them in support of.  However, once the church does the exact same thing, attacks soon follow.  I know that it has always been like this and that it will continue to be this way until the end of time, however, this does not take away from the fact that it baffles the mind.  I just pray that churches do not start to weigh their options before standing for truth.  What if standing for truth means members of your own church get mad and leave the body?  Would a church dare evaluate this consequence before making bold stances?  I hope that this is not the case, though I'm afraid that it is not always true.  May the church be the leaders in standing for the truth, and may we be unapologetic when that truth is contrary to what the world says is okay.  It's easy to stand for truth when everyone is behind you.  It gets a lot more difficult when you are one of the few that continues to stand.  Never neglect truth.  Always stand firm in it, no matter what consequences might come your way.