Confessions of a Recovering Ministry Addict

I AM A RECOVERING MINISTRY ADDICT!  There... I said it.  I, Joey Dean, have spent the vast majority of my adult life loving ministry.  As you read those first couple of lines, I'm sure that you probably have no problem with what was just said.  I must admit that I, myself, didn't see any fault with admitting such a statement either.  That sentiment has changed during the past couple of years though.  You see, during the past couple of years, God has been showing me how I had substituted a love for HIS church for a love for MY ministry.  I had actually convinced myself that MY ministry was more important than anything else and was willing to do whatever it took to advance MY ministry forward, even if that meant at the expense of the church as a whole.  Instead of loving and cherishing the church, I actually resented it and saw it as competition for what God had called me to do in MY specific area of ministry.  Now before you begin to throw rocks at me, let me suggest that this problem is not mine alone, but is actually a problem that many pastors and church members struggle with.  Are you now wondering if you're a ministry addict?  Allow me to give you a litmus test that could help shed light on your possible addiction:

1. If you talk about the need for corporation and coordination from all ministries, but then act as if you're ministry events are actually more important than everyone else's, then you may be a ministry addict.
2. If you get nervous when the pastor lays out vision for the church because it may not line up with your perfect vision for YOUR ministry, then you may be a ministry addict.
3. If you spend time criticizing other ministries use of resources instead of being an encouraging team member, then you may be a ministry addict.
4. Lastly, if you can't wait to not be in worship on a Sunday morning because you just need a break from church because your exhausted from YOUR ministry, then you may be a ministry addict. 

Trust me when I say that I'm not throwing stones here.  In fact, I'm trying to help you from traveling down the same treacherous road that I have spent the vast majority of my adult life on.  Allow me a moment to offer a couple of helpful tips on how you can stop being a ministry addict.

1. Recognize that YOUR ministry does not make up the church overall.  In fact, YOUR ministry most likely didn't even exist when the church was established in the book of Acts, and the church could probably survive if you're ministry went away.
2. Acknowledge that the lead pastor's vision for the church ALWAYS trumps your vision for YOUR ministry.  It is more important to align every ministry up with the same vision then pushing YOUR solo vision.
3. Lastly, be willing to sacrifice any area of your ministry for the benefit of the overall health of the church.  This might hurt a lot, but is the overall health of the church not more important than your single ministry?

May this blog help all ministry addicts out there, and may we all strive to love the church more than our OWN ministry.

How to slowly kill your church

"Where there is no vision, people perish."  We have probably all heard this proverb at least one time in our life.  However, have you ever stopped to think about what that really means?  Without vision, people run around frantically hoping to end up at the right place in the end.  Without vision, armies suffer defeat.  Without vision, nations fall.  Without vision, churches suffer a slow, painful death.  You see, if there is no vision, there is nothing for people to rally behind.

God is a God of vision.  What is God's ultimate vision?  To bring glory to Himself.  That's why he created everything.  That's why he sent His Son to die for you and me.  That's why He's coming back to take His family home.  It's all to bring Himself glory, and everything that he does is focused towards caring this vision out.  I think that it's time that churches learn a thing or two from God and get a vision to follow.

Let me take a moment to explain how a lack of vision leads to a slow, painful death for your church.  Across America, there a thousands of churches who do not have a singular vision to get behind.  What happens in these churches is that well intentioned church members come up with their own vision and begin to do things that they believe will accomplish the vision.  Also, staff members come up with their own vision and begin to do things in their specific ministries that they believe will fulfill their vision.  The end result is a church that has multiple different visions, doing multiple different things, which eventually leads to frustration and burnout.  Perhaps this describes your own church right now.  Is your church busy about doing a lot of good things in order to accomplish several visions?  If so, your church is experiencing this slow death that I am writing about.  It may not appear that way at the moment, but one day you'll wake up and realize that the church has been spinning it's tires continuously, but has never moved.

So how does a singular vision help?  First off, it unites people.  If everyone is on the same page as to what the vision of the church is, then people stop coming up with their own visions because they now have something to rally behind.  Secondly, a singular vision allows the church to say NO to good things in order to focus all of its time and resources on GREAT things that will carry out the vision.  Lastly, a singular vision within a church will bring God more glory than a 100 people running around doing their own thing.

Churches are dying a slow, painful death, and we are all to blame.  The journey to becoming singularly focused is a difficult one, and an area in which I will be blogging about in the coming weeks.  However, the journey is well worth it in the end.  So... what vision does your church have?

Discipleship Fail

Discipleship... has anyone else noticed that this is a big buzz word around churches lately.  There appears to be a renewed effort to return to biblical discipleship in the local church, and for that I say BRAVO!  For too long churches have been satisfied with seeing someone get saved and baptized while hoping that they will get plugged into the church in some way or another.  Not surprisingly, the local church is now reaping what it has sown.  Shallow believers, with spotty attendance, and a low commitment level. The answer... Discipleship.  How can we expect anything else out of a new believer if no one ever comes beside them and helps them grow in their new found faith?  However, with all that being said, is it possible that "we," meaning the local church are caught in the middle of a discipleship fail?  Let me explain.

Lets say that you are a committed church member, in your mid-30's, married, with 2 elementary age children.  You are currently meeting with 2 adults who are younger and new in the faith.  You consistently text them, meet with them on a weekly basis, and devote a good amount of time pouring into their lives.  Now, let me ask you this question... "Who's discipling your kids?"  Please hear what I'm not asking.  I'm not asking: who feeds them; who bathes them and tucks them into bed at night; or who tells them they are loved dearly.  I'm not even asking if you're a good parent or not.  The question is: "Who is discipling your kids?"  You see, my fear is that while we are busy discipling others, we are forgetting to disciple the one's whom God gave us to disciple in the first place... our children.  Because of this, many adults are caught in the middle of a discipleship fail. 

I'm not suggesting that you stop discipling people outside the walls of your home.  In fact, I strongly encourage you to actively be pouring into other's lives.  I am suggesting that if you are currently discipling someone while neglecting doing the same thing for your children, you are in the wrong and you need a course adjustment pronto.  I know that discipling your children is harder, and can be more frustrating.  However, God has placed them under your care so that you can do just that.  

For many of you parents, the problem is that you were never discipled by your parents and you have no clue where to start.  Allow me to offer a couple of quick suggestions:

1. PRAY TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.  This means more than just before meals.  Show your kids that praying is a very important aspect of a believer's life.  Pray for their future spouse, protection, and most importantly, their salvation.
2. READ GOD'S WORD TOGETHER.  Every night before laying down your kids to bed, take a few moments and read through God's word.  I might suggest purchasing the "Jesus Storybook Bible."  It is a great resource that every parent should have.
3. POINT YOUR KIDS TOWARDS JESUS DURING TIMES OF DISCIPLINE.  I'm not saying that you should Jesus Juke your kids, but it's important for them to know that we should be obedient to Jesus in everything, including obeying mom and dad.  They also need to know that mom and dad are being obedient to Jesus in disciplining them.
4. TALK ABOUT WHAT EVERYONE LEARNED DURING LUNCH ON SUNDAY'S.  Be intentional with your lunch time after church on Sunday.  Talk to your kids about what they learned and MORE IMPORTANTLY, how it applies to their life.
5. Lastly, MAKE JESUS AS COMMON OF TOPIC AROUND THE HOUSE AS ANYTHING ELSE.  Most people feel super awkward when talking about Jesus in public.  The reason is that they are not use to Jesus being apart of our every day vernacular.  Change this mind-set by making Jesus an important component of everyday conversation at home.

Discipleship is too important not to do.  Find someone to disciple and pour into their life.  Just don't neglect doing the same thing at home, otherwise you too will be caught in the middle of a discipleship fail.  Hope this helps!

The Ultimate Team Sport: Church

I love sports!  Whether it's playing or watching them, I just love sports.  Even though I love all sports, there is something about team sports that appeals to me more.  Don't get me wrong, tennis is a great sport and so is golf, however, there is something special about a group of athletes coming together for a common goal.  Think about it for a minute... how exciting is it to watch an alley-oop dunk or a 6-4-3 double play?  How mesmerizing is it to watch precision passing occur in order to execute the perfect play?  Team sports is exciting to watch!  It is incredible to see what happens when a group of athletes rise up together with a single purpose in mind.  It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!

With all that said, might I suggest that the ultimate team sport of all is the church.  The church is made up of a group of people all working towards a common goal... To Make Disciples.  It is important for everyone to remember that we are all on the same team and all play an integral part.  And just like in sports, when one player falls down on the job, the whole team suffers.  What part are you playing on your team?  Are you sitting on the bench watching the game go by?  Perhaps your wearing yourself out trying to make up for your teammates lack of effort?  You might think that you've learned everything that you need to know and have stopped paying attention to the coach.  The point is simply this:  if you have made Jesus Lord of your life, than you are part of the greatest team sport ever, and we need you to get in the game.

I saw a great example of this play out before my eyes this past week.  During one of our services, we had a couple of stay-at-home moms visit for the first time.  Before they could walk out the door to head to their cars, they had already been talked to by several of our ladies in the service.  Not only that, they were invited to join a life group the next week.  The crazy thing is that the team effort did not stop there.  The next morning, they were contacted by a pastor to see how they liked everything, and were immediately connected to the woman's ministry who had already taken the initiative to invite them to a woman's bible study that Tuesday.

You know the greatest thing about this story?  It all happened naturally.  No one had to force anyone to talk to these ladies.  Inviting them to a life group was not a "have to," but a "want to."  In fact, the women's ministry was already on top of things before a pastor could even say anything.  How does something like that happen?  It's called teamwork, and it's the most effective way to work towards the goal of making disciples.
What role are you playing on the team?  Might I suggest that you jump in the game and help out.  The team desperately need your help as we continue to move towards the goal of making disciples.  Trust me when I say, it's always more exciting to play the game than to sit and watch it go by.

What the Church can Learn from Jimmy Fallon

For those who haven't heard, Jimmy Fallon has taken "The Tonight Show," by storm.  Replacing a comedic legend, Jimmy Fallon was handed the baton to the highest rated late night show and has not disappointed. In fact, Fallon has actually increased viewership in the 18-49 age range, while topping the combined results of "The Late Show with David Letterman," and "Jimmy Kimmel Live."  How has he been so successful?  How has his team of writers helped to take the most popular night time show and make it even more popular.  The answer is CHANGE.

From the very first show that Fallon appeared on, the audience could tell that this was going to be a new "Tonight Show."  It was not going to be exactly what they had grown accustomed to with Jay Leno for the past 20 years.  Fallon was here and he brought CHANGE with him.  The weird thing is that it actually worked.  As word spread, more people began tuning in.  His hilarious "outside the box" skits became instant hits on You Tube, garnering anywhere from 5 to 15 million hits within the week.  The new flair that Fallon brought to "The Tonight Show," paid off and has helped to reach even more people than before. 

Now I would be amiss if I did not take a moment to mention, that even though Fallon brought CHANGE to "The Tonight Show," he still stayed true to the overall purpose of the show...  To entertain people and make them laugh while helping them relax from a long day's work.  Please do not miss this point.  The CHANGE did not take away from the overall purpose of the show, it actually helped to accentuate it.  

Lets apply this to the church.  No one seems to be against CHANGE more than church members.  We grow complacent in our pews, and content with where the church is as a whole.  Most times, when CHANGE is introduced, it is met with resistance and skepticism.  This resistance and skepticism leads to murmurings which eventually leads to disgruntleness and complaining.  Thus, CHANGE is stopped in its tracks and the church continues on its stagnant tracks. 

Might I suggest that not all CHANGE is bad.  In fact, CHANGE can often times be the catalyst used by God to help accentuate the overall purpose of the church... To Make Disciples.  Instead of fleeing from change, help to cultivate it in order to continue to propel the church forwards and not backwards.

Fallon took the most successful late night show on t.v. and made it better by introducing CHANGE.  He took the opportunity that was given him and ran with it.  Perhaps it's time for churches to follow his lead. Who knows... we just might be more successful too!

Would Your Church Make a Good Buddhist Temple

3 miles down the street from the church that I serve in sits a shell of a building.  For as many years as I can remember, this building was known as a gathering place for Baptists to worship in during the weekend, and as a christian school for children to learn in during the week.  This is no longer the case.  In fact, if you drive by that building today, you will no longer see words such as:  church, baptist, Jesus, or Christ anywhere on the building.  What you will read in big bold letters is:  BUDDHIST TEMPLE.  That's right.  Let it soak in for a minute.  What I typed is not a typo, but 100% fact.  A once thriving church with a Christian school now serves as a meeting place for Buddhist's in southwest Oklahoma City.

Now before you pass judgment and point your finger at them angrily, allow me to pose to you a question:  
"Would your church make a good Buddhist temple?"  Don't shake your head in disbelief and write off the question like it has no validity.  This is a very serious question that you should ask yourself.  Would your church make a good Buddhist temple?  Please believe me when I say that there was no way that the members of that church, nor the teachers of that school, would have ever imagined what was in their future. However, that is the truth in which they are faced with today.

In order to help you process this question, allow me to post a couple of questions that might serve as a litmus test for your church:

1. Is your church in the community meeting people where they are, or do you just expect people to come to you?
2. Do you only meet on Sunday's and Wednesday's and go home after service and feel as if you're doing enough to make an impact in the world?
3. Do you have sacred cows in your church that would cause a war to break out if a motion was made to do something different?
4. Do you often reminiscent about the "good old" days, and long for how things use to be?
5. Are your finances more inward focused than outward focused?
6. Is the word "visitor"a foreign word to you because you see them so rarely?

If you've answered "yes" to any of these questions, your church may be on their way to becoming a Buddhist temple too.  It's already been proven that it can happen.  Perhaps your church is next!

Would the Community Miss Your Church?

I would like to pose a hypothetical question to you.  It is a very tough question to ask, that requires some serious thought.  Ready?  Here it is...

"If your church closed its doors tomorrow, would the community miss you?"

Read that last sentence again.  Did you catch what I am asking.  Do you understand the significance of the question, and, especially, the answer that accompanies the question.  How about I ask it in a different way...

"If your church closed its doors tomorrow, would your community even know?"

 



These two questions are not meant to indict your church, nor are they meant to send you down a "pity-party" road.  They are simply meant to get you thinking about your churches role in the community.  As many of you ponder the question, I am sure that thoughts of relevance, being missional, and intentionality come to the forefront of your mind. 

I have to believe that the overwhelming answer for most churches would have to be "NO, the community wouldn't miss them."  The reason for this conclusion is due to the fact that a lot of churches sit mostly empty throughout the week, including Sunday morning. 

If you are like me, the next question that goes through my mind is, "how did this happen?"  At what point did a church go from being active in the community and relevant, to be nothing more than another building sitting on a street corner? 

If you're having trouble coming up with an answer, allow me to get the ball rolling by asking you three questions.  These questions are not comprehensive, but are meant to begin the process of self-examination.

1. Does your church expect people to show up just because the church doors are open?
2. How involved is your church in community events?  (football games; carnivals; fair; etc.)
3. Does the vast majority of your outreach events involve people coming to your building or you going to the people?

May all of our churches be impacting the community in such a way that there would be a huge void if the church did close its doors.